Bad Questions
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I hate that question and believe it should never be asked, especially since there is only one appropriate answer: “my True Self”. “What do you want to do when you…
A Season of Gift Giving
It’s ironic and perhaps tragic that a former friend who looked forward to getting old never got the chance. After her death from breast cancer in her late thirties, her husband called to let me know. She and I had…
No Authority
Nobody is coming to save you. The first time I laid eyes on that message, we were in the thick of the COVID lies, and I was working hard to find someone to save us all, grasping at any and…
I Have Stopped
Most of us don’t have the bandwidth* to lower our defenses and take a risk on the emotional needs of others, and it seems to me that 99 percent of the strife in this world can be traced back to…
Put It into Words
I guess you could say that making the unconscious conscious has become something of a goal of mine, so I am grateful for the humans, especially women, who beautifully explain to me myself and others in my life. When the…
Where We Belong
I am disappointed in you is the message I tried my entire life to avoid, and it had companions that showed up regularly to keep me on my toes: It’s never okay to be yourself and People like us don’t…
Do You Know How to Be Yourself?
In the introduction to Free from Lies, Alice Miller describes a survey she commissioned in 2002 that asked 100 mothers at what age they thought “they might begin impressing the necessity of good behavior on their children by giving them…
It Takes Time
Posts I wrote long ago for Collecting Thoughts Press, where I published more than 400 essays (most of which were at least 1,000 words long), still have the power to surprise me. Back in early 2018, I wrote one I…
“I Love You” is a Complete Sentence
This post is for each of my children: Luke, Bridget, Henry, Sam, Jack, and Stella. And it is the most important thing I have ever written. Three-and-a half years ago, I began a healing journey that would shake up all…
Do Any of Us Understand Time?
It has been two weeks since I sent my email to the friend I wrote about in my last post. Since then, I have also sent her four books that I have no idea if she’ll even open, but I…
Your Dogmatism is the Problem
What is Your Sacred Cow and How Does It Control You? Last night, after a meeting of the online discussion group my daughter and I are participating in, she called me to review, and about a reaction to something I…
Quarried from Hard Words
Apparently, it is time, once again, to pull The Way of the Empath by Elaine Clayton off the shelf. I could make a little note in my planner every couple of months: “Begin again with The Way of the Empath,”…
