Where We Belong
I am disappointed in you is the message I tried my entire life to avoid, and it had companions that showed up regularly to keep me on my toes: It’s never okay to be yourself and People like us don’t…
Do You Know How to Be Yourself?
In the introduction to Free from Lies, Alice Miller describes a survey she commissioned in 2002 that asked 100 mothers at what age they thought “they might begin impressing the necessity of good behavior on their children by giving them…
It Takes Time
Posts I wrote long ago for Collecting Thoughts Press, where I published more than 400 essays (most of which were at least 1,000 words long), still have the power to surprise me. Back in early 2018, I wrote one I…
“I Love You” is a Complete Sentence
This post is for each of my children: Luke, Bridget, Henry, Sam, Jack, and Stella. And it is the most important thing I have ever written. Three-and-a half years ago, I began a healing journey that would shake up all…
Do Any of Us Understand Time?
It has been two weeks since I sent my email to the friend I wrote about in my last post. Since then, I have also sent her four books that I have no idea if she’ll even open, but I…
Your Dogmatism is the Problem
What is Your Sacred Cow and How Does It Control You? Last night, after a meeting of the online discussion group my daughter and I are participating in, she called me to review, and about a reaction to something I…
Quarried from Hard Words
Apparently, it is time, once again, to pull The Way of the Empath by Elaine Clayton off the shelf. I could make a little note in my planner every couple of months: “Begin again with The Way of the Empath,”…
God, Love, Gratitude, and My Own Soul
My therapist told me that the reason I never stop trying to help people is that I keep hoping someone will help me. While she is absolutely right, there is more to the story, and it’s a funny thing, but…
To What Authority Do You Bow?
Whose boots do you lick? Whose hand (or ass) do you kiss? Which idols do you worship? Until you figure who or what controls you, how they do it, and why you let them, you will never be free. I…
Not Letting It Go
A couple of months ago, in a conversation with a friend, I related the story of a recent conflict with someone close to me, and I concluded with the statement, “He stole my soul and I want it back.” The…
Why are Putting Your Life in Someone Else’s Hands?
You know who I don’t trust? People who say they don’t trust anyone. You’d be unable to function if you truly trusted no one. If you didn’t grow ALL of your food yourself, how would you eat? Why do you…
Not Good Enough
I’m not here to explain. By rights, I should have hit the Publish button after I typed in the period following “explain.” Nothing more is needed. But I always believed I needed watertight answers and too many words. It was…
